Dear Clare & Posey…I am a healing practitioner and a giver. Every day, I meet with clients who need a part of me. With love and tenderness, I give and give and give. It has gotten to the point that I feel that people will not want to help me when I need help and I come to tears about not being about to receive. Can you help me with this sticky issue?
Clare: When you are an over the top giver, you energetically offer your knowledge, your physical capacities, your emotions and sometimes pieces of your soul. This is done to please and help others. You will feel drained and have no idea how to refill that beautiful sense that attracts clients to you. How can you change this from a soul’s perspective?
First, you must realize why you are drained. Your soul is crying out for you to pay attention! If one particular person drains you more than others, refer them to someone else. If your work-load is overwhelming, you may decide to cut back. If the office is toxic or has too much drama, you may need someone to energetically clear it for you. When you consciously recognize your soul is empty, find ways to refill with love. If possible, sit quietly and take three deep breaths between clients, bringing your heart back to present. Washing your hands with the mantra “every particle of energy that is not me is being washed down the drain.” Is practical and smart. Recognize your intention to be both a giver and a receiver. This is the soul path, finding balance in polarities. Both are needed, both require awareness and self worth to feel soulfully integrated in this human world. This requires inner work, soul work, loving kindness to yourself and others. Once you step out of your giving mode, you might find receiving is right there, ready to be experienced and appreciated.
Posey: If you are a born giver, you will have trouble receiving. You think you can do it all for everyone else and you do not need anyone to do anything for you. Clare would disagree, but this is how I see the human personality of a giver. You are strong, direct, capable, caring, and feel that if you do not do it, it will not get done. You are the best person for the job! That is not true, but it is your deeper belief.
When you think of receiving rather than giving, your knees buckle since this is foreign territory for you. I suggest you go gently into the receiving world. Ask a few friends to do something for you (rather than you doing something for them) and see what happens. It might be easier than you think, or it might blow up in your face. Again, it is ingrained in your psyche that you can only give because you are the chosen giver. But, I do know people change, and with a bit of help from Clare, you might find a way to receive. Do it with full will! Try hard! That is what the ego wants from this discussion.