. . . soulful musings and mindful reflections on everyday living
Living for others
October 10, 2014
Dear Clare & Posey: is there anyway I can I start living for myself rather than others? I have followed rules for so long, I am not sure I know where to start.
Clare: Congratulations! You are discovering your inner resources, what your soul needs and what is most important for you. This is time for discretion, observing your feelings, being open to the reality that what works for others may not work for you. You may need to break some long standing rules, you may need to understand there is no one answer to your question, you may need to think out of the mind box and feel into the soul. It can be hard to find that inner spot of caring for yourself rather than always thinking first of others. I (as in your soul) care deeply about you and how you can lead a good life. To do so, you must start thinking of your needs first – this does mean you will be distant or careless with others feelings, but instead, be lovingly aware of your needs. Be kind to yourself first then, it a natural flow to be kind and love others.
You ask how to do this? Perhaps it is time to pick up a book or magazine that starts the process of discovering Who You Are….there are a plethora of books, gatherings, meet-up groups and seminars, just ask at your local bookstore or friends who are also curious. Once you start looking, you will find like-minded people who are exploring this fabulous frontier of inner awareness, which includes intuition, soul development, emotional maturity, spiritual wisdom and deeper meanings to every day existence. You may turn out to be a leader to help others who have always relied on culturally imposed rules and doctrines to become more accepting of their new path. One hint: if it does not feel right in your body, it is not right for you. That does not mean it is not right for your neighbor. Start feeling your way around your senses and be proud of your progress. This is good news indeed!
Posey: What is wrong with rules? That is part of my job as your ego to keep you where you are in a context of organized safety. Rules do just that. When people start thinking on their own, I get a bit nervous. Who knows where you will end up? Will you attend yoga classes or ashrams in which you try to get rid of me, your ego? Will you forget why you need me? I keep you upright, I keep you in the flow of the local economy, I keep you worried and concerned for the future. I am not in favor of you exploring thoughts on your own – really, it makes me a bit nervous. What would happen if you follow your bliss and suddenly, you are not making any money? What would happen if you gave up everything for a trip around the world and came back to zero security? Do you really believe you can think and act on your feelings? Can you understand why rules are important?
Yes, it is good for Clare to mention getting to know who you are, but I think the soul makes too big a deal of this. You are who you are, rules or no rules. Stay in your head, make others happy and maybe you will find you are happy enough?