. . . soulful musings and mindful reflections on everyday living
Angry driver/Happy driver
October 31, 2014
Dear Clare & Posey: Recently, I witnessed an angry driver followed by a happy one. A driver attempting to turn left inadvertently pulled too far into the oncoming turn lane. As two cars maneuvered around her, one driver was very, very angry and muttered under her breath while giving the stink eye and angrily pointing to the driver. The next person was all sweetness, waving, mouthing and motioning it was ok. What is going on with people? Where did kindness and consideration go?
Clare: Let’s give the angry driver the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she was under a lot of stress or felt violated as if someone had done something specifically to her. She could be one of those people who feel very entitled on the road – it all belongs to them with other people and cars a hindrance and bother. Sadly, she is living very much in her head, using reaction (ego driven) to form her personality.
Enter the sweet driver who has a different agenda. She is concerned about life being good for all. She is not driven by reactions, rather by kindness and helpfulness. Her modus operandi is to show the world that no matter what, it’s all good. This is soul work – living in the moment of conscious awareness that one driver made a mistake by pulling out too far, but that is not something to be concerned with or to fret over. No accidents occurred, all three drivers had their moment of connection – one good, one rather sad. If you find yourself in this situation, remember, your soul wants to help and allow, while your ego is distractive and searching for blame. You choose the course that is correct for your soul learning and the benefit for all. I suspect it will be kindness.
Posey: Heh! Don’t put the blame on the angry driver. This is something the original driver could have controlled by paying close attention to the intersection. Since it was a narrow roadway all the more necessary to be on alert and drive cautiously. So, trouble occurred when the first driver moved too far into the intersection, putting one driver into a reactive state. Who could blame her? Yes, she is a sour puss but the inattentive driver did deserve the stink eye.
Reactive thinking commonly stems from old emotional issues of feeling left out, disempowered and ignored. And, of course, my all time favorite, not feeling safe and secure. Thus, the need to point, blame and be angry. The happy driver is in la-la land. She sees no fault anywhere and her kindness overflows – a bit much for me. So what to do? Be an empathic no blame kind person or one who throws daggers. As long as there is no damage to the cars, I cannot see how a bit of finger pointing harms anyone but does allow the angry one a bit of venting.