Dear Clare & Posey – the holidays are sad and lonely for me. I choose not to be with family members and my friends are scattered or engaged with their families. What can I do?
Clare: Holiday time can be very stressful if you allow your loneliness to over power your inner sense of self worth and slip into suffering. As your soul, I do not want you to suffer, rather, I prefer you to understand where your distress comes from so you can change your mind to live a more peaceful life. A time of sadness can be an invitation to find ways to support your soul life rather than sink into a self created abyss sealing you off from others.
Ask yourself, does this only happen during the “holiday” season? If so, make a conscious choice to recognize and name your loneliness right now. Can you then dip into your inner resources and find peace, compassion and love for yourself? Taking a walk, listening to the wildlife or even honking cars, putting on music and being mindful of your surroundings can switch your mode. Would you be interested in having a meditative conversation with your soul to feel what is best for you? If so, this is a perfect way to spend a quiet afternoon (note: you are changing the word lonely to quiet) and play in the soul field. You might want to take time to recognize a sense of wonder. For instance, enjoy the holiday lights for the brightness and beauty they bring, or watch a small child’s face light up with surprise (even on TV).
I understand you feel lonely. But, so do many others. If you look around, you will find kindred souls who wish to be uplifted just like you. You will see them in the market, coffee shop, church, Food Bank, and especially at a nursing home. Notice their expressions, have inner courage as you approach and ask how their day is going. Then, listen with a smile and genuine interest. This takes you out of your self-involved ego mind and into your heart. This may be terribly hard for you. But, can you imagine your soul growth when you decide you want to engage and not be held prisoner to your sad thoughts. I am on your side – be kind to yourself.