. . . soulful musings and mindful reflections on everyday living
Honest with myself
January 16, 2015
Dear Clare & Posey: I divorced my husband, disbanded my “charmed” life when I woke up to the knowledge that I had not been honest with myself during the last 20 years. I am still in shock that I could easily ignore my body/mind/spirit issues – can you explain?
Clare: As your soul, I am very proud of you for making the leap towards honesty and integrity within yourself and to the world at large. I know this is very difficult as you change your life for the better. When souls try desperately to get attention and fail, the body takes action. Your body, which had suffered with many ailments, thanks you for getting out of a deeply stressful controlling marriage. Your mind is more relaxed, even during times of sadness, mocking, and embarrassment by former family members. Best of all, you seem so much happier! Your soul is on the right path allowing expansive loving kind energy to replace the dishonesty you lived with for too long. Even when your former husband and his family try so hard to make you wrong, you have learned to expand with simple loving kindness. Doing this over and over shows you and your children how strong you are in spirit as you stick to your center of inner awareness and love.
When the reality of what you had been living with finally struck you, everything changed. You found a way to be honest with yourself. The spiritual tools you were taught by your parents and believed in so deeply were awakened and used to excellent advantage. You desperately wanted and needed to live with inner integrity and moral character rather than being bullied into thinking everything was fine (even when you felt it was not). Your ill body lead you to spiritual freedom. Your new life is filled with synchronistic events allowing you to feel your soul open wide and your spirit soar. You must be very proud of yourself, I am.
Posey: Divorce is a terrible situation to live through. Feeling that you are being dishonest to yourself is nothing to sneeze at. As your ego mind, I am far more content with this new life you have chosen and created. You say you are in shock that you ignored the issues in your marriage for so long. You are not the only one…there are so many others out there who pretend they are living the dream when instead, they are living the dread. You woke up, others may not.
You are a lucky one even with all the physical issues that drove you to change. Many times, a drama or trauma is the only way to see that something is not right. Ding, in a second, the light bulb illuminates what was once dark. When the blinders are taken off, change has to happen. I am not a big fan of change because it is scary, but, as your ego, I do not want you to suffer any more than Clare does. I do want to protect you from the harm when there is so much psychotic mental debris being thrown at you. Tune into the fear you feel when the daggers start to fly – that is me protecting you. Then, you can go into Clare’s loving kindness feeling and help yourself and your kids. Good luck, I am pulling for you to be a whole, complete, honest person. I think you are already.