. . . soulful musings and mindful reflections on everyday living
Peacemaker – why me?
February 21, 2015
Dear Clare & Posey: All of a sudden, I find myself being a peacemaker between three different sets of friends. I am not skilled in the arena of meditation, but I am a good listener and reflector. Is there anything specific I need to be doing to help more?
Clare: It seems your soul is inviting you to be aware and appreciate your innate special skill set, which is to be the peacemaker among friends and family. Not everyone is suited to diffuse an egotistically self-protected situation where the outcome looks less than optimal and fireworks fly. Because you are intuitive and centered, you see and understand more about unnecessary conflicts than others. You have a serene way to see and understand what you discern, as well as a gently way to share your information.
Because of your nature, you already know most of what to do – energetically bring calmness to the table, listen intently with respect, quietly ask leading questions and mostly, do not pretend you have the authority to be right or make a change (this is ego all the way; the soul remains neutral). Before the mediation, take time to drop into your inner guidance, your soul and helpers asking specific questions. How can I help? Shall I take this on? What more can I do? Then, actively listen to the answers, which come from the Universal heart and soul and are always present. Stay neutral with the situation, not taking sides, not giving advice, yet presenting a solution to lead the parties to fairness. If this continues to be part of your world, you may take the next step and train in this valuable field. Your soul is with you always and cheers you on.
Posey: As egos, we love to think we are always right, don’t we? A friend who starts into a whinny world of blame is looking for anyone other than himself or herself to be at fault. Notice they always start with how easy they are to work with and how none of this should be an issue while they point the finger and marvel at why the other party is so wrong. Then they look for the weakness of the person they are going after, as this is a natural part of human nature.
You are in a unique situation, knowing both sides of the conflicts you are involved in. You realize there is no fault, just two people reacting with a high degree of misplaced emotion to keep and protect their turf. If you are asked to help, what can you do? Because you are well equipped as Clare points out for this work, jump right in! Be firmly decisive as you navigate the choppy waters of family and friendship. Do watch out that you too do not become part of the conflict. When you think you are doing and saying all the right things, you might also be entangled in the mess.
I suggest you take some courses to double your innate knowledge. Get a degree or at least study for a certificate to show yourself and your friends that you know what you are doing. Keep at it. It is so satisfying to help others.