“Enough is enough” Mom said. At almost 92, her glorified life filled with thrills, disappointments, grief, family, deep love, spiritual awareness and hope was coming to an end. She was physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually done with her earth life and decided it was time to go to spirit. She was dying of old age rather than an incurable disease. Without a six month or less prognosis, Hospice was not an option for her care. I was her main caregiver making all decisions: gathering the right people to ‘love her up’; coordinating all services including meds, financials, doctor, mortuary, coroner, cleaning out her house; sitting with her in laughter, pleasure and then, quiet sadness watching her draw her last sweet earth breath.
Mom had a beautiful attitude towards both life and death. Her thoughts about passing, letting go, mortality, end of life, eternal rest, the grim reaper, and finality of this earth life were solid. With her long-range spiritual view, she believed this earth life is where we learn a variety of life lessons, including who we are. She felt the Other Side, filled with incredible love and peace was for deeper soul learning.
Her sense of humor and wisdom was evident even as her life was ending. She had a place to go and was not afraid of dying. This was pivotal for her caregivers. We could focus on loving and caring for her rather than feeling overwhelming sadness or stress of her leave taking.
Her beliefs hugged each of us with a certainty that all is fine as it is. And, we believed her, which bettered our lives.
A pervasive positive attitude of que sera sera (what will be will be), allowed Mom died as she lived – with purpose and out of the box thinking. Those who met Mom even for a moment, remembers her. She was flamboyant, beautiful, striking, and full of life, always adorned with lipstick and bright shiny jewels. As she matured, she was introspective, questioning why are we here? She read constantly and loved to entertain. Mom became an accomplished astrologer, a fierce poet and a dedicated purveyor of family lure. She had easy conversations about anything with anyone. Our table filled with laughter and lightness, became loud, silly and pointed at times.
I did not know how I would cope facing the death of my mom, who I admired, cherished and honored. Since my high school years, we had many delightful adventures exploring metaphysics and the energy of the soul. We were neighbors for over 25 years and would candidly chat about the mysteries of life.
Was Mom perfect? Far from it! She was a fragile human who recognized the strong whims of the ego while paying attention to the love of the soul. As a Virgo, she knew what’s what according to her! Demanding, stubborn, self-critical and detail driven, it was good to play by her rules. Yet, she was honest about life and death, kind to all, eternally curious about human nature and dedicated to family.
Happy Mom’s Day all Mothers! Mom’s advice… “be happy, everything works out as it will.” Thanks Mom, I miss you, love you and am still a champion of your beautiful essence.
Suzie will be reading from her book, The Pink Door ~ Mom’s Journey to the Other Sideon Wednesday, May 23 from 5:30-6:30 at The Book Seller, 107 Mill St. GV. A discussion and Q & A will follow. Together we can love the one who is passing, remove the fear of death and embrace the realities of death and dying.